Little Things

You may not know it. But to me, little things makes a of difference to me. You may think its petty and stupid but to me its not.

Yeah, i'm all in for the big romantic gestures, but the small little things is enough for me. Sometimes i feel like you take me for granted. Isn't a relationship supposed to be a two way street?

Right now im not feeling you at all. Something has changed. You don't wish me goodnight anymore. I'd say goodnight and i get an "ok" from you. WTF? Thats not an "OK" reply. What is it so hard to reply "goodnight" too. Seriously. I dont understand.

When you're angry, you go crazy, you start ignoring me, start throwing your temper on me. Cause I can take it right? Cause no matter what u do I'll still be here for u right?

Like i said little things. When u are tired and sleepy, u get angry for no fucking reason. NO FUCKING REASON. Well I'm not like that. Even no matter how tired or sleepy i am, i still treat u like a princess. Maybe thats just me.

Recently. You also start to not reply my messages. SEEN THEM then not replying. WTF? So hard to reply? You're so fucking busy till cant type in a few words. Good. Very good.

All this things you are doing. Makes me doubt myself. Makes me wonder what am i doing wrong. Is there something i am not doing enough. Do you even know what you are doing?

Bulletproof Heart

I'm fucking sad right now. No amount of words in the fucking English language can comprehend how fucking sad I'm feeling right now.

We love each another right? Why aren't we sharing how are we feeling to each another? Are we looking for the same thing with each another?

I only ask cause I love you. I care for you. I'm concern for you. Yet all you do is push me away. Shut me out. Is all you care is yourself?

What is happening? You say these kind of things and with no explanation, you left me wondering and over thinking so many things. I've been backtracking and checking everywhere on what have I done to have deserve that.

You have no idea how much it hurts. How much pain in feeling. Or is it you do and you're doing it on purpose?

But it's ok. I'll take the bullet. I've got a bulletproof heart anyways.

K

K
K
K
K
K

FUCKING K me.. i hate it when talking to someone and then the person replies "K".

FUCK YOU!

It much worst when it is coming from you. I don't understand you sometimes. When you're mad or pissed, the way you talk to me is like crap. Seriously, maybe its just me, but yeah it fucking hurts. I let it slide, i'm okay with it. I dont want to make things worst so yeah. Whatever.

Even though I'm upset or not in a good mood, I still try to talk to you nicely. How long you want me to suppress all this in?

Heavy Hearted

Fuck Twitter, too many eyeballs are on that account. I'm switching to this for the mean time.

Feeling like shit now. No kidding. I don't know how to put this into words. First time lol. Sometimes she can be the best girl. Sometimes, she can put you down like a dog. Wait. Not dog. Like an insect. No warning, straight for the kill.

These few months, I've learnt to let things slide. Compromise. Even if I don't like it, I'll be okay with it. I guess its fine, because I love her. But slowly, a little by little, its eating me up from the inside. Who is this person? I don't recognize myself anymore. 

Little things which I have to change. Not for myself, but for her. Is this the end game for happiness? 

Somehow. Somewhere. Somewhat.

Leon Lai - 我的亲爱 My Dearest Love

English Lyrics

I am still thinking of your tender love.
When the night is dark, it will appear in my dream.
I am gradually becoming lonely but still cannot find someone to replace.
I still love you, wishing that you will come back.

Who can understand me?
I hide away all my emptiness and keep sadness, sorrow and love quietly inside till now.
Understand reality is reality, but there could be exceptions.
Who said I already do not know how to love again?

Have you decided not to be with me anymore?
In this case, would your past feelings ever come back?

You seem to think this is nothing, but do you know that I am all alone?
Sayonara oh sayonara oh.

It is only relationships that last a short while that is considered modern love.
I cannot hold back, and cannot let go.
I continue to love you, but you still do not care.
Sayonara oh sayonara oh.

Then why is there still love within my heart?
To me you will always be the same and is my only precious dearest.
Sayonara oh sayonara oh.

Then why is there still love within my heart?
To me you will always be the same and is my only precious dearest.


Chinese Pinyin Lyrics 

kei sat ying yin waai nim nei wan hing dik ngoi
joi tin sik yat hak wooi loi do mung noi
kei sat juk jim jik mok waan mei yau tai doi
ying si ngoi nei kei mong nei wooi yau bat suet ji loi

 sui yan nang ming baak ngoh ngoh jeung hung hui yim koi
yeung bei seung yau wat chi ching cham mak do yin joi
ming baak yin sat si yin sat ming baak jung yau yi ngoi
sui liu ngoh yi wing bat dung joi bit ngoi

nei kuet sam bat joi boon ngoh ma
sam siu joi ngau hei hoh fau gau ching fuk joi

naan do nei gok dak bat suen sam moh
ji fau ngoh gam tin joi chi chiu chiu duk ji hon hoi
Sayonara O Sayonara O

yue mong mong chung chung dik ngoi choi yin doi
ngoh moot faat yan moon ngoh mei fong hoi
daan ngoh keuk gai juk ngoi nei daan nei jung bat joi lei choi
Sayonara O Sayonara O

yi wai hoh sam jung jung yau ching yi joi
nei joi ngoh sam tau jeung wing yuen moot bin goi
si ngoh dik ngoh dik bo booi chan ngoi
Sayonara O Sayonara O

yi wai hoh sam jung jung yau ching yi joi
nei joi ngoh sam tau jeung wing yuen moot bin goi
si ngoh dik ngoh dik bo booi chan ngoi

_____________________________________________________

kei4 sat6 jing4 jin4 waai4 nim6 nei5 wan1 hing1 dik1 oi3
zoi6 tin1 sik1 jat1 hak1 wui loi4 dou3 mung6 noi6
kei4 sat6 zuk6 zim6 zik6 mok6 waan4 mei6 jau5 tai3 doi6
jing4 si6 oi3 nei5 kei4 mong6 nei5 jau6 wui bat1 syut3 zi6 loi4

seoi4 jan4 nang4 ming4 baak6 ngo5 ngo5 zoeng1 hung1 heoi1 jim2 goi3
 joeng6 bei1 soeng1 jau1 wat1 ci1 cing4 cam4 mak6 dou3 jin6 zoi6
ming4 baak6 jin6 sat6 si6 jin6 sat6 ming4 baak6 zung2 jau5 ji3 ngoi6
seoi4 liu6 ngo5 ji5 wing5 bat1 dung2 zoi3 bit6 oi3

nei5 kyut3 sam1 bat1 zoi3 bun6 ngo5 maa1
sam1 siu1 zoi3 ngau1 hei2 ho2 fau2 gau6 cing4 fuk6 zoi3

naan4 dou6 nei5 gok3 dak1 bat1 syun3 sam6 mo1
zi1 fau2 ngo5 gam1 tin1 zoi3 ci3 ciu2 ciu2 duk6 zi6 hon3 hoi2
Sayonara oh, sayonara oh

jyu4 mong4 mong4 cung1 cung1 dik1 oi3 coi4 jin6 doi6
ngo5 mut6 faat3 jan2 mun4 ngo5 mei6 fong3 hoi1
daan6 ngo5 koek3 gai3 zuk6 oi3 nei5
daan6 nei5 zung2 bat1 zoi3 lei5 coi2
Sayonara oh, sayonara oh

ji4 wai46 ho4 sam1 zung1 zung2 jau5 cing4 ji3 zoi6
nei5 zoi6 sam1 tau4 zoeng6 wing5 jyun5 mut6 bin3 goi2
si6 ngo5 dik1 ngo5 dik1 bou2 bui3 can1 oi3

Lost in translation.

Hey. Yeah it's been awhile. Again. I'm here to let things out. I don't know where else to say this. So here goes.

I feel like you've made your decision. Feels like your pushing me away. I have this feeling inside of me which I know. So what's up? Why don't you tell me.

Why are you still stringing me along. Let me go. Just do it. Just get it over with. Everyday I die a little inside. I understand that you've chosen him over me. I'm okay with it.

I always thought you'll be independent. Strong and brave enough. But what you're doing now is just. Just not right.

I'm at the point where I could either love you. Or hate you. How it turns out, I guess I'll know it soon enough.

So where did it all go wrong? Did I push you away? Did I force myself on you? Did it all move to fast? You put me in this situation. You put me in this race. A race which was an uphill battle.

Remember what you said to me? It seems those words means nothing at all now. Little things you do. Little things you say. I hate this feeling. The feeling that all I can is the back of you. Slowly walking away. Into the distance.

You were fun when we were just friends. I guess we're not suited to be together. Communication is some kind of a barrier between us. I always thought if we had chemistry, communication wouldn't be a problem.

But you. You choose to shut me out. Not even trying to talk to me. To even trying well anything. Feels like a one way street. If this is a precursor to our future. Then it's not going to work between us. So please. I beg you. End it

I love you too much to let you go. But clearly, we're not meant to be. You have your own world and it seems you're desperately trying to keep me out.

Maybe I have been a little sensitive, who am I kidding, I have been emotional. But I'm not afraid to hide it. I thought the purpose of being with another is to be true to oneself and to each another. Clearly you're not.

Or maybe I just don't know you all that well. Or I do just that I'm not admitting it cause I have this vision of the person you are but you're not.

I tried. I gave you my best and what I could. Maybe it wasn't enough for you. It's ok. I'll try harder next time. I've tried to be better. Better for you. Guess it wasn't enough to convince you.

Tell me darling. What now?

Tailspin

It's been a while. I just needed to let this stuff out.

I'm an emotional wreck. I'm an ass.

You know the saying "you don't know what you've got until it's gone"? All this while I felt safe. Knowing that it's there. Now that it seems to be fleeting away, it hit me. Like a bus. Hit me so hard I'm in a fucking tailspin.

I don't know. I didn't want to get involved. But somehow my heart is a dumb fuck. I keep telling myself no. But my heart knows I'm lying to myself.

When it wasn't mine, I wanted it. Went for it. Tried it. Then things changed. Changed to my favour and I like the ass I am, didn't want it. Kept my distance.

Today is the day. The day I came to realization. I love her. I don't know why I don't just tell her. I avoided the question.

Too be honest. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of life and what's ahead. Fear of the uncertainty that lies ahead. I hate this. Maybe it's time to be honest about my feelings. Stop running away and just tell her how I feel.

I guess it's normal. Normal to be always thinking about the road not taken. What if something better comes along. Fuck.