Lost in translation.

Hey. Yeah it's been awhile. Again. I'm here to let things out. I don't know where else to say this. So here goes.

I feel like you've made your decision. Feels like your pushing me away. I have this feeling inside of me which I know. So what's up? Why don't you tell me.

Why are you still stringing me along. Let me go. Just do it. Just get it over with. Everyday I die a little inside. I understand that you've chosen him over me. I'm okay with it.

I always thought you'll be independent. Strong and brave enough. But what you're doing now is just. Just not right.

I'm at the point where I could either love you. Or hate you. How it turns out, I guess I'll know it soon enough.

So where did it all go wrong? Did I push you away? Did I force myself on you? Did it all move to fast? You put me in this situation. You put me in this race. A race which was an uphill battle.

Remember what you said to me? It seems those words means nothing at all now. Little things you do. Little things you say. I hate this feeling. The feeling that all I can is the back of you. Slowly walking away. Into the distance.

You were fun when we were just friends. I guess we're not suited to be together. Communication is some kind of a barrier between us. I always thought if we had chemistry, communication wouldn't be a problem.

But you. You choose to shut me out. Not even trying to talk to me. To even trying well anything. Feels like a one way street. If this is a precursor to our future. Then it's not going to work between us. So please. I beg you. End it

I love you too much to let you go. But clearly, we're not meant to be. You have your own world and it seems you're desperately trying to keep me out.

Maybe I have been a little sensitive, who am I kidding, I have been emotional. But I'm not afraid to hide it. I thought the purpose of being with another is to be true to oneself and to each another. Clearly you're not.

Or maybe I just don't know you all that well. Or I do just that I'm not admitting it cause I have this vision of the person you are but you're not.

I tried. I gave you my best and what I could. Maybe it wasn't enough for you. It's ok. I'll try harder next time. I've tried to be better. Better for you. Guess it wasn't enough to convince you.

Tell me darling. What now?

in my head..

ur beautiful u know that? but i dont know why.. i dont think i'll be able to have u.. ur so far away.. all i see is ur back.. and its fading.. fast.. sigh.. only way to have u is in my head.. :(..

i'm gonna miss seeing u.. gonna miss the increased in heart beatings the moment i see u..

her killer eyes, heart stopping smile

ok todays monday.. had kinda the worst day of the year..  heard my phone ring at 830.. woke up and checked seeing Darwin msged me asking for my groups SPSS file.. so yeah.. Elvin havent or wait dont even have the template to do so yeah.. im not in the mood to explain.. so long story short.. he pissed my off i complained to the lecturer.. he told me if Elvin doesnt contribute in assignment two, i dont have to put his name.. so im okay with that..

actually this was at first the BEST day.. why? after tv studies lecture.. there is this "replacement" class at 9503.. so me and eddy went in.. as i entered, i saw this chic with huge glasses sitting there.. so i was like "hmm not bad", left our bags and we went out.. 15 minutes later we came back, i sat at the pc.. eddy was on my left.. so i turned and talked to him, his head moved.. there she was.. sitting there..

what was the 1st thing i do? i freaked and stared straight at the pc.. in my head i was like "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"... eddy noticed so he turned and he saw her and he was like "eh look" then i went "i knoww"..... zomg i swear the room temperature suddenly increased.. eddy was like "go say hi".. and i was like "and then what?".. eddy kept giving suggestions and i shot every single one down.. what was i thinking right?

was having my tute there and she was well doing her assignment with her frens and they didnt leave the lab so yeah i was kinda happy.. took every chance i have to catch a glimpse of her.. eddy actually said hi to her, i was like sitting here, brain dead.. no wait.. actually being RETARDED.. ZzzzzZzz.. i dono why i froze.. then eddy turned at me and gave me this stupid smile.. sighh.. he then said "ur balls dropped".. more like it shot up to the moon..

i dono why.. i always wanted to talk to her trust me. when i see her, 1000000000000000000000000 lines instantly goes through my mind on what to say.. "hello" then what? i DONO.. so instead i freeze.. maybe its her killer eyes... or her heart stopping smile.. but i swear she is special.. i dono why.. i dont even know her that much.. i had a little chat on twitter with her after that.. yeah i know right? sigh i feel like punching myself.. here's the kicker.. i thought this was her 2nd last sem and next sem wud be her last.. so same like me.. but actually.. this is her last.. and she's grad soon.. and thats it.. most prob never gonna see her again.. n.e.v.e.r.. i feel like shit now.. never felt this way since Eve i dont even know why i feel like this.... FUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..

if ur reading this.. and i hope ur not.. pathetic right? sigh.. wished i have more balls to go up to you.. ur not like the others girls i've met.. your awesome.. i cant explain it, but in my heart i know.. since i saw u in OB lecture.. i was like "wow"........ everytime i see u.. i cant stop smiling.. i feel so energized like i can do anything u know.. u were my motivation for the past 2 years.. and that is making me pass all my subs.. ok.. maybe a little too much information.. -.-

This song is on loop now.. cuz thats how i actually feel.. thank you All Time Low..


A Daydream Away Lyrics

I wish you could see your face right now
‘Cause you’re grinning like a fool
And we’re sitting on your kitchen floor
On a Tuesday afternoon
Doesn’t matter when we get back
To doing what we do
‘Cause right now could last forever
Just as long as I’m with you

We would go out on the weekend
To escape our busy lives
And we’d laugh at all the douche-bag guys
Chasing down their desperate wives
I would drink a little too much
And you’d offer me a ride
I would offer you a t-shirt
And you would stay another night

We never stood a chance out there
Shooting love in real-time
So we’ll take it over ice tonight
With a little salt
And a little lime

You’re just a daydream away
I wouldn’t know what to say if I had you
And I’ll keep you a daydream away
Just watch from a safe place
So I never have to lose…

solitary

FRIIDAY FRIIDAY! GOOTA GET DOWN ON FRIDDAY!

LOL.. so its friday.. the week is coming to another end.. so fast right? sigh.. tims is driving a lambo.. its going sooooooooooo fast i feel like im being left behind.. urhghhh.. anyways.. today was kinda slow and boring..

woke up at 1130.. cuz i needed to go to uni to submit my HRM assignment.. so went to uni at 2.. as i came down from the car, i see this girl standing at the bus stop.. i swear to god the 1st thing that went thru my mind was "OMG IS THAT HER??!?!?" i cant really see because this girl is like wearing this HUGE sunglass.. half her face is covered.. so i assumed it was her and i walked quite fast into uni.. when i come back out she left.. haihhhh... 

i miss the days when i get to see u every week.. that was something special.. i dono why.. everything i see u i get this feeling which i cant explain.. gahhh... only time i felt like this was when i saw Eve last time.. lie this girl is so speical in her own way, no one else can come close in comparison.. more like its forbidden to even compare.. LOL.. everytime i see u, i feel motivated u know.. like for no reason i'll be smiling and there is this surge of energy.. WOOOHOOO!! soooooo....

yeahh...

anyways... rest of the day was pretty bleak.. weather sucked.. so i fifa-ed till uhhh.. dinner time.. 3-8 i was on the couch.. i can fucking feel my ass getting bigger.. FUUUuuUUUuuuuu... nothing much happen at night.. came back from dinner, watch a few series then suku as suaul.. then came home and played fifa till 5.. -.-.. SIGH!.. exam is like in less than a month away!.. gahhh

unlike any other..

she's awesome.... but probably not enough to sum her up.. have u seen her? she's rockinnn!~..

she has these eyes.. those big round eyes.. one look and u wont want to have her out of your sight..

she has this hair.. long and wavy.. like the shape of an angel's body..

she has the lips as if it was made of clouds.. so soft..

she is as fair as i want her to be.. WIN..

she has this smile.. deadlier than a gun.. well it pierced my heart.. and its now alive...

she has this attraction unlike any other.. seeing her even though its for a short while.. makes me forget everything and damn it feels good..

Looks like i wont be seeing her for a while.. summer holiday is up!... too bad its 3 weeks short.. but o well.. ITS 3 WEEKS AWAY FROM SEEING U!.. i'll make do with it..