Fuck Twitter, too many eyeballs are on that account. I'm switching to this for the mean time.
Feeling like shit now. No kidding. I don't know how to put this into words. First time lol. Sometimes she can be the best girl. Sometimes, she can put you down like a dog. Wait. Not dog. Like an insect. No warning, straight for the kill.
These few months, I've learnt to let things slide. Compromise. Even if I don't like it, I'll be okay with it. I guess its fine, because I love her. But slowly, a little by little, its eating me up from the inside. Who is this person? I don't recognize myself anymore.
Little things which I have to change. Not for myself, but for her. Is this the end game for happiness?
I am still thinking of your tender love.
When the night is dark, it will appear in my dream.
I am gradually becoming lonely but still cannot find someone to replace.
I still love you, wishing that you will come back.
Who can understand me?
I hide away all my emptiness
and keep sadness, sorrow and love quietly inside till now.
Understand reality is reality, but there could be exceptions.
Who said I already do not know how to love again?
Have you decided not to be with me anymore?
In this case, would your past feelings ever come back?
You seem to think this is nothing,
but do you know that I am all alone?
Sayonara oh sayonara oh.
It is only relationships that last a short while that is considered modern love.
I cannot hold back, and cannot let go.
I continue to love you,
but you still do not care.
Sayonara oh sayonara oh.
Then why is there still love within my heart?
To me you will always be the same and is my only precious dearest.
Sayonara oh sayonara oh.
Then why is there still love within my heart?
To me you will always be the same and is my only precious dearest.
Chinese Pinyin Lyrics
kei sat ying yin waai nim nei wan hing dik ngoi
joi tin sik yat hak wooi loi do mung noi
kei sat juk jim jik mok waan mei yau tai doi
ying si ngoi nei kei mong nei wooi yau bat suet ji loi
sui yan nang ming baak ngoh ngoh jeung hung hui yim koi
yeung bei seung yau wat chi ching cham mak do yin joi
ming baak yin sat si yin sat ming baak jung yau yi ngoi
sui liu ngoh yi wing bat dung joi bit ngoi
nei kuet sam bat joi boon ngoh ma
sam siu joi ngau hei hoh fau gau ching fuk joi
naan do nei gok dak bat suen sam moh
ji fau ngoh gam tin joi chi chiu chiu duk ji hon hoi
Sayonara O Sayonara O
yue mong mong chung chung dik ngoi choi yin doi
ngoh moot faat yan moon ngoh mei fong hoi
daan ngoh keuk gai juk ngoi nei daan nei jung bat joi lei choi
Sayonara O Sayonara O
yi wai hoh sam jung jung yau ching yi joi
nei joi ngoh sam tau jeung wing yuen moot bin goi
si ngoh dik ngoh dik bo booi chan ngoi
Sayonara O Sayonara O
yi wai hoh sam jung jung yau ching yi joi
nei joi ngoh sam tau jeung wing yuen moot bin goi
si ngoh dik ngoh dik bo booi chan ngoi
Hey. Yeah it's been awhile. Again. I'm here to let things out. I don't know where else to say this. So here goes.
I feel like you've made your decision. Feels like your pushing me away. I have this feeling inside of me which I know. So what's up? Why don't you tell me.
Why are you still stringing me along. Let me go. Just do it. Just get it over with. Everyday I die a little inside. I understand that you've chosen him over me. I'm okay with it.
I always thought you'll be independent. Strong and brave enough. But what you're doing now is just. Just not right.
I'm at the point where I could either love you. Or hate you. How it turns out, I guess I'll know it soon enough.
So where did it all go wrong? Did I push you away? Did I force myself on you? Did it all move to fast? You put me in this situation. You put me in this race. A race which was an uphill battle.
Remember what you said to me? It seems those words means nothing at all now. Little things you do. Little things you say. I hate this feeling. The feeling that all I can is the back of you. Slowly walking away. Into the distance.
You were fun when we were just friends. I guess we're not suited to be together. Communication is some kind of a barrier between us. I always thought if we had chemistry, communication wouldn't be a problem.
But you. You choose to shut me out. Not even trying to talk to me. To even trying well anything. Feels like a one way street. If this is a precursor to our future. Then it's not going to work between us. So please. I beg you. End it
I love you too much to let you go. But clearly, we're not meant to be. You have your own world and it seems you're desperately trying to keep me out.
Maybe I have been a little sensitive, who am I kidding, I have been emotional. But I'm not afraid to hide it. I thought the purpose of being with another is to be true to oneself and to each another. Clearly you're not.
Or maybe I just don't know you all that well. Or I do just that I'm not admitting it cause I have this vision of the person you are but you're not.
I tried. I gave you my best and what I could. Maybe it wasn't enough for you. It's ok. I'll try harder next time. I've tried to be better. Better for you. Guess it wasn't enough to convince you.
It's been a while. I just needed to let this stuff out.
I'm an emotional wreck. I'm an ass.
You know the saying "you don't know what you've got until it's gone"? All this while I felt safe. Knowing that it's there. Now that it seems to be fleeting away, it hit me. Like a bus. Hit me so hard I'm in a fucking tailspin.
I don't know. I didn't want to get involved. But somehow my heart is a dumb fuck. I keep telling myself no. But my heart knows I'm lying to myself.
When it wasn't mine, I wanted it. Went for it. Tried it. Then things changed. Changed to my favour and I like the ass I am, didn't want it. Kept my distance.
Today is the day. The day I came to realization. I love her. I don't know why I don't just tell her. I avoided the question.
Too be honest. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of life and what's ahead. Fear of the uncertainty that lies ahead. I hate this. Maybe it's time to be honest about my feelings. Stop running away and just tell her how I feel.
I guess it's normal. Normal to be always thinking about the road not taken. What if something better comes along. Fuck.
